The Adventures of Little Miss Pissy

The Big Black Hole of Maternity Leave

2012-01-25T10:34:00.001-05:00

As my maternity leave (sadly) comes to a close, I reflect back on my blissfully delusional pregnant days when I actually had the audacity to think that I would get tons of stuff accomplished on my leave.

On my list of things to do were:

• Reorganize the closets
• Frame and hang all of the wedding and baby pictures
• Read multiple books
• Watch the first 2 seasons of Gossip Girl on DVD
• Learn to knit (ha!)
• Clean the house thoroughly twice a week
• Make more freezer meals for when I go back to work
• Send out thank you cards for baby gifts

What actually got accomplished:

• Played with Beetle (Our name for sweet baby Quinn. Don’t ask. Somehow it stuck.)
• Danced around the room with Beetle.
• Sang “Part of Your World” to Beetle more times that I can count.
• Changed multiple “exploders.” (Thank you, Beetle.)
• Pumped and fed Beetle.
• Made silly faces and repeated everything twice (in Mommy voice) to Beetle.
• Washed the poop filled clothes from aforementioned exploder. (Thanks again, Beet!)
• Pumped and fed Beetle some more.
• Listened to more lullaby songs on Pandora then ever thought humanly imaginable.
• Pumped and fed Beetle yet again.
• Cried because it all went by too fast and I literally did nothing

Honestly I don’t know who I thought I was kidding with that to do list. I guess as a first time mom I had no idea how time consuming a baby could be. I thought surely there would be some down time. But alas, I was wrong, as per usual.

I didn’t reorganize the closets or frame and hang the pictures. I didn’t clean the house, watch Gossip Girl, make freezer meals or even send out thank you cards. I barely managed to squeeze in a weekly shower (yes, weekly!) much less teach myself to knit. (That is just so laughable it’s embarrassing.)

But you know what, I wouldn’t do a thing differently. I got to spend the last 12 weeks with my amazing little girl. Watching her grow so quickly right before my eyes. Experiencing the world with her as she discovered it for the first time. And that is more rewarding than any thing on that to do list.

Except maybe a cute knitted baby beanie.

Kidding!! (Kind of.)

Baby Survival Tip #384

2012-01-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

Never look directly into the eyes of a sleepy baby. Your direct eye contact is like a line of cocaine immediately alerting their brain to wake up and play leaving you to hover helplessly in chair pose over a moving swing for the next 90 minutes all while pleading with your 12 week old to "go to sleep already."Silver lining: My thighs are now incredibly toned.

Trial By Fire

2012-01-20T12:03:00.003-05:00

In my last blog (aka my Lazarus like rise from the dead) I revealed some major things that have happened since you last heard from me. Namely, I had a kid.

Seriously, what was the man upstairs thinking when he decided I would make a suitable parent? I’m pretty sure if nothing else this blog has served as a forum of overwhelming proof that I am by no means the most understanding, patient, or forgiving person on the planet. C’mon we all remember my previous posts about binge drinking, neglecting to pay my bills and picking unwarranted fights with the Boo. Granted I have grown up a wee bit since then (ahem) but still. Anyone who has previously conducted their life in such a manner and does so with such overwhelming sarcasm and complete disregard for the way in which it affects others should by no means be responsible for raising another human being.

My point being…I hope I don’t screw this kid up.

When we first found out I was pregnant it was a complete shock to the Boo and I. It was definitely a surprise but a good one at that. (And no, there is no cute story about how I lovingly revealed my positive pee stick in a wrapped up jewelry box with a bow on top. True to form, I simply ran into the living room in my Hanes night shirt, disheveled hair and morning breath and announced “Holy Shit! I’m pregnant!” Classy, eh?)

But after the initial excitement and Facebook proclamations had worn off, the anxiety set in. How in the hell was I going to pull this off? Was I honestly capable of carrying, birthing and raising a precious baby girl without scarring her for life? I mean, let’s face it, she’s already got the short end of the stick to begin with since she is carrying my DNA and all it’s proclivity to facial hair, thick thighs and the inability to think before speaking. But more so, was there anyway I could not mentally scar this child with my complete and utter lack of knowledge and sarcastic, sometimes caustic, demeanor?

And then I saw her.

Quinn Isabella was born on October 30, 2011 and the instant they laid her on my chest I knew I would figure it out. Yes, it may be trial by fire. Yes, I may suck a big one at first. And yes, there may be times when I make my 12 week old baby do inappropriate booty shaking dances from BET music videos but that’s neither here nor there.

The point is she’s mine. She has my eyes, my blood and, God bless her, my DNA. Without even trying she’s already taken over my entire heart and filled it up with slobbery kisses and toothless grins. Without even trying I know I will raise her as best as I know how and hopefully she will grow into the beautiful young woman I know she’s destined to be.

The other night I laid on the bed just staring at her as she played. She was exploring the world around her and when I bent down and kissed her I didn’t get a grin. She rolled her eyes at me.

She is so my daughter.

Well, Hello There

2012-01-19T15:33:00.005-05:00

Anyone remember me? Most likely not. It's only been 2 years.

(Embarrassing!)

I'm still alive but my life is a bit different. Since my last post I lost 49 pounds, the Boo and I got married, built and bought our own house, I (gained all the weight back plus some when I) got knocked up, and we had a baby!! Crazy, right?!?!

So here I am once again, on bended knee, begging you few remaining faithful readers o mine (Can you hear the echo? Cause there's no one out there) to give me another chance. I promise I won't leave you high and dry again. I have a baby now so you KNOW the possibility for embarrassing, ridiculous, incredibly sarcastic blog fodder is endless.

And c'mon...you know you missed me.

Engagement Pics are Here!!

2010-04-21T12:33:00.001-04:00

Just a little preview until we get the full disc. More to come!

Emily and Ryan's Engagement Photos from Emily Rearick on Vimeo.

Where to Unleash My Inner Tyra?

2010-02-26T01:12:00.008-05:00

When we first got engaged I knew there were some things that I wanted that we probably couldn’t afford. Among those were engagement pictures, a videographer, and a month long honeymoon in Italy. (What? A girl can dream, right?) But I knew our budget wasn’t huge (not tiny either but not Platinum Wedding size) and I’d resigned myself to forgoing these far away dreams.

So imagine my excitement when I first realized that our amazing, wonderful, incredibly talented photographer (who you’ll learn more about later) could actually offer us an engagement shoot at a crazy low price when we booked her for our wedding as well.

I. Was. Thrilled.

And now our scheduled shoot is almost upon us and we have a major problem. We haven’t decided where we want to have them taken. The Boo and I have tossed around a few ideas but are obnoxiously indecisive on this topic for some reason so I turn to you dear readers. Let’s go over some options shall we?

First off, there’s Uptown Charlotte.

(Source for above two)

(Source for above photos)

We initially decided to move here because of the big city atmosphere and we fell in love with Uptown on our first visit a little over a year ago. The architecture, the streets, the whole vibe of being in the heart of our new city. I dig it. So those are the pros. Now the cons: I really love the skyline at night and I’m not too sure I would be as thrilled if I didn’t get a single shot of the high rises all lit up. Oh or the train station. Like this.

(Source)

Also, there could be a lot of people out on a Saturday afternoon/early evening so I’m not sure how dorky we might feel. Things to consider, people.

Next, there’s one of the lakes (Lake Wylie or Lake Norman.)

(Source for all above)

These are gorgeous for obvious reasons and there are really no cons other than I’m not sure if our photographer would drive out that far. I bet she would though cause she’s super kick ass.

Finally, there’s your average public park. (This one is actually Freedom Park and not so "average" but let's roll with it.)

(Source for all above)

I’m thinking this could be hit or miss. We might luck out and find some gorgeous nature trails and benches to shoot at. Or there could be 37 young, screaming children running amuck, throwing dirt, and causing utter chaos. You never know.

So which do you think we should choose? Or is there somewhere else I haven’t mentioned that we should check out? Let me have it!

DIY Fail: The Ghetto Version

2010-02-24T00:24:00.009-05:00

I probably shouldn’t even be posting this because I’m not yet entirely sure there will be a happy outcome to this current dilemma but I know you all are just dying to see the first of my DIY endeavors and I love you all too much to keep you in suspense any longer.

(Sarcasm. I’m the queen of it.)

Anyhoodle, shortly after the Boo and I got engaged I was all over the interwebs digging up fun DIY projects to add to my incredibly overzealous list and while many of these projects are either in the works or yet to be started, I was eager for something to get my hands on right then and there. So what did I decide on? “Will you be my bridesmaid?” cards. Duh!

Cute. Classy. Easy to DIY and something I could do right now. Sign me up. (I’m a huge proponent of instant gratification.)

So the Boo and I hopped in the car, headed to Michaels, and after endless hours of scouring every aisle like I was searching for the Holy Grail and significantly annoying my mans I headed home with everything I didn’t need.

You see, whathadhappenedwas.

In my tenacity to start the project I didn’t actually take the time to get the proper supplies. (Read: Michaels didn’t sell the 18x18 craft paper I needed for the project and the Boo refused to peruse the aisles of yet another craft store such as Hobby Lobby or Paper Source looking for it so I pouted, bought some poster board, a corner rounder and lots of other superfluous crafting toys unnecessary to the task at hand, and we left.)

Now what I was going for were these gorgeous handmade paper doll cards by OnceWed.

Source

However, after a glass (or two) of wine, an uncalled for amount of profanity, and some serious doubting in my crafting abilities, this is what I came up with.

First, I crafted a template from an old shoe box. (In my defense, I think this part actually turned out decent and I may still use it. We’ll see.)

This and all other phenomenal photos in this post taken by moi. "Don't act like you're not impressed."

But see then there was the issue of the poster board being, well, not craft paper, and thus extremely thick to cut through. After blistering my hands with cheap scissors and busting out the most ghetto version of an X-acto knife known to man (ie. an extremely cheap box cutter) I was left with this.

Ummm…not quite what I was going for. (Note the jagged edges around the head and neck. And also, how the middle one looks like her torso is dismembering itself from her legs? Yea. I suck.)

Have any of you found yourselves tackling projects that seemed way easier in your head before you realized you could find a way to screw it up big time? (Oh. Only me? Splendid.)

On One of My Favorite Wedding Related Decisions So Far

2010-02-22T11:25:00.002-05:00

For as long as I can remember, words have been my life. From my younger years of crafting homemade books, scripts, novels and teaching curriculum to my proclivity for novels and old smelly books from the library to my Bachelor’s degree in English, words have always been my thing.

They have a way of conveying every emotion which I’m unable to express otherwise. They have the power to be simple or complex, compelling and passionate, or soft and understated. They have the ability to transcend reality and transform something ordinary into something far more extraordinary.

Where else would I most love to implement those transformative, magical powers then one of the biggest days of my life? Only the biggest moment of my life – the ceremony. That is to say, I’ve chosen to write the entire wedding ceremony myself.

It was a fairly simple decision actually. I knew that I was looking forward to writing our vows and getting to articulate exactly how I feel about this incredibly amazing man I’m about to marry but that didn’t seem like enough. I wanted to be more involved.

Although the Boo was raised Catholic and I Protestant neither of us are current practitioners of our particular religion. So it seemed superficial to want a traditional ceremony with words and rituals that didn’t completely feel like us. And more than anything, I want the ceremony to feel like us.

So with a little help from Mrs. Star over at Weddingbee (seriously the best place for inspiration and all things wedding related) I decided to purchase The Wedding Ceremony Planner by Judith Johnson. I’m only half way through but I can tell you it has been such an amazing source of guidance and insight into how I can actually pull this off. It gives great advice on how the ceremony itself should flow, samples of different sections of the ceremony, ideas for reconfiguring them to fit your day, and handy check sheets for inspiration and editing of your big script.

I can honestly say that this is quickly growing to become one of my favorite and most anticipated parts of the day. Not only will the ceremony be the part where I get to marry the man of my dreams but it’s also now the part where we can do it in a way that fits us, embodies who we are, what we’re about and what we hope our future together will bring.

How do you feel about writing certain aspects of your day? Vows? Poems? The entire ceremony? Would you do it?

A Little Inspiration

2010-02-19T11:33:00.007-05:00

Like any burgeoning bride I've learned that creating an inspiration board is a great way to see how all the ideas you've got floating in your head are actually translating in real life. I have an idea of how I want my wedding to look but can't always articulate it (shocking, I know.) So, I tried my hand at an inspiration board and this is what I came up with. (P.S. Click the board to make the pics much bigger...you gotta see the flowers in the top left corner...I DIE!!)

Sources (beginning at top left to right): Picture 1, Picture 2, Picture 3, Picture 4 , Picture 5, Picture 6, Picture 7, Picture 8, Picture 9, Picture 10, Picture 11, Picture 12, Picture 13, Picture 14, Picture 15, Picture 16

Kind of traditional, slightly vintage, and homey, eh? (I have no clue what I'm talking about and I have a feeling if David Tutera was here this would be the point where he'd look at the camera and go "Wha?")

What do you think? Does it look even slightly cohesive? Ideas? Suggestions? What would you say the "theme" of my wedding is? I NEED HELP!!!

Lots of Pictures in Today's Post

2010-02-18T11:43:00.001-05:00

Which of course means you can't see it...unless you go here.

P.S. Click any of the pics to make them bigger. Enjoy!!

The Search for the Perfect Venue: Part 4

2010-02-18T11:25:00.012-05:00

Finally, if you’ve hung around this long then I commend and thank you. I promise this is where I finally make a choice.

It’s funny that we actually ended up picking this place because it was one of the first places we contacted for pricing information after we got engaged. The Boo received an email the same day with a 20 plus page information sheet including prices for everything listed individually (ie. napkins, linens, rentals, etc). Prior to this our brief endeavor into wedding planning had taught us that most all venues don’t itemize the cost out like this but rather just give you a lump sum based on the menu you choose. Soooo (this is where I’m a little embarrassed) we basically got all lazy and indignant and said screw this place. We’re not doing all that math.

(I’m so not kidding. We really had that conversation.)

But after revisiting the pictures and website a few days later I realized I did truly love the site and wanted to figure out how much it would actually cost if I added it all up. I was pretty sure that there was no way we could afford it but 2 sheets of scrap paper, one thoroughly abused calculator, and 20 minutes later I had finished. And…what was this? It was actually in our price range?? HECK YES.

So, I jumped on the computer and rattled off a quick email to the site coordinator and booked an appointment to see the venue. When we showed up for the appointment we arrived a bit early so, after meandering around the grounds for awhile, we decided to wait in one of the lobby/seating areas.

I was already in love. Before I had even seen everything I kept leaning over to the Boo saying things like “See, I can picture us getting married here. I couldn’t everywhere else but I can here. Can’t you?.” (He could of course.) But then those thoughts were quickly followed up by “Oh crap, what if I did the math wrong? We so can’t afford this place. It’s too nice. Damn me and my elementary math skills!”

I was beginning to get a little nervous when our wedding coordinator walked up. She was so sweet and accommodating as she spent over an hour showing us the whole place and describing every thing in detail. I knew before it was over that this was where we would get married. And what is that place you might ask? Pine Island Country Club my friends.

And now I’ll shut up and just show you some pictures cause I know that’s what you want anyway. (Unless you’ve already scrolled past all this and have already jumped ahead to the pictures. In which case I could just say whatever I wanted. Poop. Sasquatch. Monkey butt. Ok on with the show.)

(Source)

The ballroom where our reception will take place. Don't you just love the big rotunda with the floor to ceiling windows? That's where our dance floor will be. Oh, and the ballroom is actually twice as big as this picture so we'll have plenty of room. In case you were worried!

(Source)

(This and all other pics taken by yours truly!)

The gorgeous tent with chandelier dimmers where our ceremony will take place.

The winding staircase where I'll make my grand entrance from. Yipee!! :)

Back view of the club from the parking lot. Still pretty.

So there you have it. We’ve put down our deposit and booked the big day and I am so, SO happy with our choice.

Any of you think you couldn’t afford your dream site only to find out later that you were pleasantly mistaken?

The Search for the Perfect Venue: Part 3

2010-02-16T00:57:00.000-05:00

So when we last left off the Boo and I had checked out a small hotel and a big hotel and weren’t too thrilled with either. Next up was the venue we actually ended up picking but, of course, for the sake of suspense I have to skip that one and move along to the fourth and final venue, Rain Tree Country Club.

(Public Service Announcement: I believe I’ve found the problem behind my posts not showing up in Google Reader after they’re posted. It’s because of all the pictures!! Lame I know…but we’re gonna try this one with links instead of pics and see how that works.)

So on this particular day it wasn’t raining (for once) but instead was extremely windy. Like gail force, hurricane, Twister starring Helen Hunt big. It was bad. So bad we almost didn’t go because our poor car was getting whipped all across the interstate like a limp twizzler but alas, we braved the winds and arrived for our appointment.

We walked up through the main entrance of the club and were blasted with an extremely pungent, nursing home-ish smell. There was mustard yellow carpet, plastic yellow gold chandeliers overhead, and rows of pictures of old men in tiny red hats lining the walls of the foyer.

“Are you serious?” I whispered to the Boo with a not so subtle facial expression. One whiff and we shoulda known.

Our consultant was extremely nice but evidently very pressed for time. She bounced us from room to room showing us where our indoor ceremony would take place (even after we’d told her we wanted an outdoor ceremony) and how the cocktail hour and reception would take place (right off the room full of old dudes and pukey carpet.)

Just like Mr. Wig before her she had whisked us around the entire building and gone through her whole spiel in under 20 minutes. Even after I mentioned (for the fourth time) that we wanted to have our ceremony outdoors, our consultant referenced the green on the golf course where we could have our nuptials and even after promising to show it to us never did.

All in all I knew it wasn’t for us before her tour was even over but I think what really sealed the deal for me was the fact that immediately following her perfectly memorized speech she asked if we had any questions, waited exactly 1.6 seconds and said “Ok, well I’m really good about answering emails so I’ll let you go now and if you think of any just email me.”

Ummmm ok??

However, in the effort of being fair I must admit that we probably didn’t give this one as much of a shot as we should have. Our minds had already been made up the day before when we visited our dream venue and decided that we were in love.

Up next, the big reveal – where we chose to say I Do!

Anyone ever visit other venues even after you knew you’d found the one?

Google is Once Again Trying to Piss Me Off

2010-02-10T12:56:00.002-05:00

Go here for my Search for the Perfect Venue: Part Deux!

(This is really starting to get old, Google Reader!)