Friday, September 19, 2008

I Cringe

Good morning fellow bloggers! (Yes, I realize that salutation is largely unneccesary seeing as no one reads this thing but it makes me feel cool and I like it. So you, phantom reader, just humor me, ok?)

Last night me and the Boo were cooking dinner. (Actually it was more like, he cooked and I watched the water boil, sipped some Heinken and got in his way. But whatever. I like to take credit for things I don't do...but only if they turn out good! That's how I roll.)

Anyways, we're slaving away in the kitchen and the food is just about ready. He's doing his fancy pasta flipping trick (which I think he does to make me feel inferior but again, whatever). So the night's going pretty normally and then, out of nowhere, my perfectness did the most horrific thing.

He had just served the pasta and was telling me to put some olive oil on it and then the cheese. But when I asked him how much oil I should put on, he answered (hold your breath, people cause this is bad):

"Just drizzle it on there".

Drizzle. Hello, did you hear that?? DRIZZLE!!! Ughh. I was utterly disgusted and I may or may not have thrown up in my mouth just a little bit.

I know I'm strange but I CANNOT be the only one in the world with a list of words I abhor. Or am I?? I know my Little Sis can concur on this (as we comprised the original list together, pooled mostly from words our mother used to use. Again, ughh. The mere memory gives me chills.)

Now, I know you all must be curiously wondering, anxiously awaiting with bated breath for me to reveal this list. And while it hurts my heart to even think about it, I think I can muster up enough courage to reveal a few. But only a few, partially because I can't remember them all, but mostly because they downright disgust me.

So here you go, in no particular order:

  1. Hot cakes - (ewww just listen to how that sounds. If you like it and/or use the word regularly, I just may have to eliminate you from my social circle)
  2. Croissant - (especially when said with something wet or sticky in the back of the throat. I cringe!!)
  3. Dollop - (obviously I can't listen to that stupid Daisy sour cream commercial)
  4. Crispy - (don't ask)
  5. Decadent
  6. Luscious
  7. Tender Pork Shank - (lamb can also be substituted for pork and still be as effectively disgusting. Just say it and tell me I'm not 100% right!)
  8. Moist
  9. Tantalizing
  10. Sumptuous
  11. Pant (as in, on Project Runway, "I'm gonna make a nice PANT to go with this blouse." eww)
  12. Blouse (you had to see this one coming)
  13. Creamy
  14. Drizzle (obviously)
  15. Nibble (I used to hear this one all the time when I was serving, as in "Can we have some bread to nibble on while we wait for our meal?" NO! You cannot!! I will kick you in your shin!! SHUT UP!!)

Ok I think that's all I can handle for one day. Hopefully this list made you all just as disgusted as I feel every time I hear them vagrantly thrown around and maybe now you'll make a conscious effort to NEVER USE THEM AGAIN. And if not, was nice knowing you.


So@24 said...

Great. Now I have that "dollop of daaaaaaaaaaaaisy" jingle stuck in my head all day

LittleMissObsessive said...

MOIST that tops my list!!!

Premade Design by Delicious Design Studio