Epitomizing Dysfunctional Love

This is (verbatim) a text conversation between the Boo and I earlier today.

Me: Bicker.

Boo: Bicker back.

Me: Bicker louder.

Boo: More incessant bickering.

Now the good stuff…

Me: I thought we were madly in love :(

Boo: Me too

Me: Congratulations! You’ve made me cry once again.

Boo: You’ve made me cry too.

Me: Now you mock me? I can’t believe this!!

Boo: I don’t mock. I am devastated.

Me: My whole life is unraveling.

Boo: Welcome to the club.

Me: You’ve rotted me from the inside.

Boo: I’m sure you were already rotten before you met me.

Me: How dare you belittle me.

Boo: Leave me alone. I’m trying to get drunk.

Me: Well go get toasted and lay down the pipe on some hookers but I won’t be home waiting for you.

2 minute intermission. Wait, is he really getting trashed and paying for 20 dollar BJs? I hope he didn’t take that literally.

Me: I trick. I love you.

Boo: I know. Love you too.

Me: So how’s the library going?

Boo: I'm at the front door genius.

I swear. We can never stay mad at each other.