Monday, April 6, 2009

My Teeth are Rotting Out of My Head

Over the last few days I’ve tried to convince myself that the cavernous regions of my mouth are not revolting against the rest of my body.

It all started about 6 days ago. I woke up one morning and realized that the gums around my back molar were slightly swollen and bright red. Mehh. It’ll go away. I began getting random hot flashes and wrote them off as the AC not being low enough (despite the fact that it was already blasting in the 65 range.) It was when I finally caught myself chewing last night’s take out BBQ with my front two teeth like a fucking rabbit that I realized something might be off.

Apparently I’ve got what’s known as a toothache?!?!? What is this you speak of?? Never had one. Ever.

But somehow I’ve found myself unable to chew, swallow, or (much to the Boo’s satisfaction) speak and let me tell you this BLOWS. My throat is red and burning and my glands are swollen to the point where I look like I may or may not have an Adam's apple and therefore be in possession of a bulge. Clearly I can’t go to the dentist to have it properly fixed. No job plus no money means I get to suffer my way through the pain Little House on the Prairie style.

(And let me tell you, I’m no Laura Ingalls. I don’t take kindly to throbbing, aching, make me want to blow my brains out pain.)

So here I sit, hopped up on the Boo’s excess 800 mg Ibuprofen from his recent fracture, sipping water, inadvertently fasting and wishing someone would saw my jaw off.

Or bring soup. Ya know, either or.

14 comments:

Miss Musing said...

"But somehow I’ve found myself unable to chew, swallow, or (much to the Boo’s satisfaction) speak and let me tell you this BLOWS."

I read this part way too fast and oh my goodness did I misunderstand the meaning. Oops.

Sexual innuendos aside, I'm sorry your tooth is hurting. I'm a huge baby about going to the dentist because GAH! it hurts, so I usually alternate between gargling with salt water and using copious amounts of orajel. It seems to do the trick. I hope you feel better soon.

Lil' Woman said...

Ugh, that sounds effin horrible.
I had the something like that happen to me when my gums got infected..i could barely open my mouth.

*Crystal* said...

I hate to be the first person that posts this... but you really need an antibiotic. If it is that bad and causing swelling in your glads, the IBU is not going to help you. If you can get to a doctor or a clinic they can prescribe you an antibiotic, that is pretty cheap $5-$15 range.

Good Luck, and I hope you feel better :)

amindinmotown said...

Very crappy. Maybe you should try a pain reliever specifically for a toothache. That might help a bit better, even though clearly you ought to find some funds and see a dentist. It just might not heal itself.

Rachel Caprice said...

*sighs* ahh, tooth pains. Is there any pain quite like it? The torment? The aching? The stomach twisting pains that stem from not being able to eat real foods? The world's way of saying what dentists sometimes forget; "you should floss more". Or have all your teeth removed in back and trade them for ones that don't have to be brushed so much.

Texas Belle said...

you might try gargling warm salt water... hope you feel better soon!

LiLu said...

Tell me about it. Last year I was chewing gum when I felt something hard in it.

Something hard like half of one of my back teeth.

SEXY.

Wishing you the best, darling... mouth stuff SUCKS!

Wendy said...

Toothaches are the worst things in the world. Right up there with in-laws and migraines.

Hope it goes away! Grab an ice bag and put it on the face to numb it out.

Stephanie said...

Gah! I hate teeth problems. Hope it all goes away soon.

Muppet Soul said...

Oh dear G-d.

Go buy some ORAJEL at the very least.

Visions of that scene in castaway where he takes his tooth out with an iceskate.

Shannon said...

Oh man. That is noooo bueno. I had to go to a free volunteer dental clinic to get a tooth pulled because it was in so much pain and I have no health insurance. Imagine my fear. Please, just take a minute. I hope yours gets better soon!

Erin [aka E.Wiggle™] said...

I have a horrible fear of getting a cavity or other tooth malfunction. Thankfully, I guess I've got good teeth because I've only had like one cavity. Then again, I don't have wisdom teeth and still have four baby teeth. Yeah, don't have wisdom teeth as in NOT EVEN IN EXISTENCE. And as for those baby teeth, hopefully they don't go anywhere because there's not another tooth to take their place if they bite the dust. Oy.

Eric the BeehiveHairdresser said...

You just described the very same thing I had going on in January. I wrote it off for several days until I couldn't take it anymore.

From what you wrote it sounds as though you most likely have an infection in and around the gums of your wisdom tooth.

Antibiotics STAT!!! And saltwater rinses every couple of hours too.

And a dentist visit to suck out and clean out that infection...sorry to say that mine was VERY painful.

I hope yours isn't what I had and that you're already feeling better.

Matt said...

You know what? I've never had a cavity.

Ever. Just thought you should know that.

But I have had a toothache so I can relate. Just try not to punch anyone.


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