Wednesday, April 1, 2009

On Some Random Nonsense

1. As of late (yesterday) I’ve taken to calling the Boo by his middle name. Payne. Yes, that’s right. As in P-A-I-N. If that’s not the coolest f*ckin name on the planet then I don’t know what is. I have daydreams of how magnificently that middle name could come in handy when faced with an enemy. “I’m about to bring the PAIN on your ass. Cause that’s my middle name, son!” Not that he’d ever be that lame to use such a line. But in my revisions of future said story he most certainly will.

2. Totes ma-gotes has got to be the most awesome phrase ever invented. It just sounds kick ass. I laid awake in bed last night just saying “Totally…totes ma-gotes” over and over in my head and getting a little chuckle every time. Oh, Paul Rudd how I love thee. (And for the record, no I have not seen I Love You, Man despite the raving reviews I’ve read it received. Nay, I’ll just wait a few months years till it hits DVD and goes to Blockbuster and eventually makes its way off the “New Releases” perimeter and into the gaping abyss of a cluster f*ck that comprises the middle aisles of movies everyone’s already seen or hates. I call it frugality. And no, I’m not Jewish.)

3. Have you seen this?? I think you should. (Click the link you stubborn bastard. Do it. Quit being so GD lazy!!) If you try and tell me that’s not the funniest thing ever I will slaughter your first born. That’s a fact. (And I know I posted about it back in October or so but let’s be honest, I had no readers then so guess what, it’s happening again.)

4. Danny Gokey sings like baby Jesus. Sweet, six-pound 10 ounce baby Jesus. And it is BRILLIANT. I don’t care what you say about him I am SOLD. That sweet, widowed church boy has got some mother-f*cking pipes, yo. (And look, enough with the Adam obsession, ladies. I mean, I get it. He sounds like Freddy Mercury. You could probably share the same skinny jeans and eyeliner. But please, the man is clearly gay and any delusions to the contrary are just that…delusional. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, not in the least. All I’m saying is spending your days pining away for Mr. Lambert to make sweet love to you whilst serenading you with a sitar infused lullaby and simultaneously fathering your children is a far-fetched fantasy that’s never going to happen. So give it up.) But back to Danny. You wanna know what the best part about this kid is? “Gokes” (as I so lovingly refer to him) kinda rhymes with “Totes ma-gotes” and that is the crazy link that set this blog train o thought a chuggin.



Bluebelle said...

Yeesh. I did watch that video and I'm cringing...that looked so painful! What on earth made that woman think standing on a table was a good plan?

LiLu said...

"Totes ma-gotes" is my new favorite saying! I've been peppering my convos with it all week ;-)

And I'm sorry I got you with my post today... someday it will be for real! You are SO sweet though.


Anonymous said...

1. I love that you call the Boo by his nickname. I happen to know his first name (from our email convos) and can I just say that he has such a nice name? I know guys don't really care about that stuff but WE DO and you've got yourself one beautifully named guy :)

2. It's a funny movie. You'll like it!

3. I saw that video last time you posted it and it's still as funny as the last time I saw it.

4. I don't know who Danny Gokey (and I'm too lazy to Google it) so no comment there :) Although from your description it sounds like a singer so maybe American Idol?

Mary Elizabeth said...

Danny has been my fav from the start. I hope he goes all the way. Yes, I just typed out going all the way. Have a great day!

Erica said...

I am intrigued that you cared enough to capitalize "Jewish" but not enough to stop perpetuating negative stereotypes.

insomniaclolita said...

Payne sounds so cool.

I have no idea too why I like the name "Max" on a this normal?

Bird* said...

that cideo was too predictable. everyone knew as soon as the fat girl got on the table that she was gonna fall. personally, i assumed she was gonna break it though. good thing she was a big girl. skinny girl would have died.

Krystal said...

that fall made me laugh, good one!

PorkStar said...

That video is still funny though

Emily said...

Bluebelle - Who knows?? But I'm glad she did for our sake. haha

Lilu - Yea, I'm still mad at you from yesterday. lol

Jaqueline - Aww thank you. Yea, I kinda like his name myself. And yes, Danny is from American Idol. haha You're lucky you didn't get sucked into it like the rest of us.

Mary Elizabeth - Totally...totes ma-gotes!! :]

Erica - I capitalized the word because I like to be grammatically correct however political correctness has never been my forte. Any blog that includes the line "If you don't think this is funny I will slaughter your first born" is clearly riddled with sarcasm and humor and is not meant to be taken seriously. Although I do apologize if I offended you.

Insomniac Lolita - Haha reminds me of Mad Max the movie. lol

Bird - I know but it's still funny, no?

Krystal - Awesome.

Porkstar - Glad you like it as well!!

Jenn said...

i love the saying - and i love the gokes too! i'm live in milwaukee like he does, so i feel like i have a little extra right to claim him as my own :) he does sound like a sweet baby jesus.

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