Monday, June 8, 2009

This Must Be God's Idea of Poetic Justice

So I bitched about not having anything to write about then God was all “Oh really? Life’s too perfect for you now, huh?” and I was all like “yea, I mean it’s great and everything but what am I supposed to write about now?” and he was like “how about the good stuff?” and I was all “ehhhh that’s whack” and he’s like “oh so that’s what’s up?” and I’m like “word” and he’s like “then here take this” and then the Boo and I got in a wreck.

It wasn’t anything life threatening but it was enough drama to make me squeal with glee whilst waiting for the officer to arrive “I CAN SO BLOG ABOUT THIS!!!” The Boo didn’t find that enough silver lining to un-piss him off during the whole situation but then again I wouldn’t expect him to be all too thrilled. (I’m the tortured artist after all. Duh.)

Basically the Boo was trying to turn into a parking garage from a lane that is usually the far left (as the other 2 usually hold oncoming traffic). Well APPARENTLY some streets were blocked off for some whack ass festival and the 2 lanes that are usually coming towards us were going with us. So he checked the “alleged” oncoming traffic (nothing) and proceeded to turn….at the exact same moment that some d-bag came flying by going at least 45 on a 25 mph street and side swiped the shit out of us.

It was a more hilarious observation in social commentary than anything else as no one was hurt and the tool driving the “MSTNG GT” (as we so aptly learned from his way cool personalized license plates) was one of “those guys”. One of those toolish guys who overcompensates for a not so sufficient something else by buying a body kit highly reminiscent of Paul Walker’s “sweet ride” circa Fast and the Furious imported from Japan and an inappropriately obnoxious muffler that did nothing more than highlight the “does-this-make-me-look-man-enough?” aesthetic.

I mean, seriously. This kid wore his neon blue tinted sunglasses hoisted precariously on the greasy forehead that served as a shore for his DEP dipped and carefully spiked head. This car was clearly his WORLD and he was devastated.

At points I almost had to refrain from outright pointing and laughing at his mourning and even more than that I was praying I may even get to witness a full mental breakdown complete with heaving sobs and woeful lamentation. It wasn’t that dramatic but it was damn near close.

The Boo didn’t get a ticket (much to the douche’s dismay) and we left the scene to proceed with our birthday celebrations. (Yes, you heard me. The Boo is 30 today…and horrified. [Happy Birthday, sucker!!])

So yea, if this is how God wants to play it from now on then next time I’m totally whining about not being engaged yet. Maybe that will light a fire under the Boo’s ass to get with it.

(Or maybe I should just stop bitching.)

(Ehhhhhhh….we’ll see.)

(Read: Highly unlikely.)


Lil' Woman said...

yay I'm glad your back to your old self...sorry to hear about the accident tho...I bet the Boo def. was not happy about turning 30 after that.

Anonymous said...

Sucks about the accident, but yay for blog material! Haha! All things considered, even with the freaking out, I hope the Boo had a nice birthday! lol

Jenn said...

I'm sorry that happened - but at least you got some good writing material. poor mustang boy :)

LiLu said...

If blogs aren't for bitching...

Then I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. :-)

Danielle said...

Life works the same way for me- Notice how great things are going and you're bound to get shit on!
Glad you guys weren't hurt in the wreck!

Shannon said...

I told you someone stupid would intervene hahaha :) Im so glad you two are safe though!!

Matt said...

Dont tempt the blog gods...

thatShortChick said...

yeah the closing of streets for that whack ass festival you're talking about was probably for the Taste of Charlotte.

I went and it gets major EH from me.

but I'm glad you guys came away from the wreck unscathed!

Anonymous said...

What a BD gift! Glad it wasn't too bad though. Isn't it funny that one of the first thoughts was that you could blog about it?!? What has blogging done to us all? :)

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