Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Dear High School Self....

As I have grown and matured over the years there are (obviously) things I have learned in the process. As they say, retrospect is 20/20 and subsequently, it would have been nice to know some of the things I know now “back in the (proverbial) day”. More specifically, my less-enlightened, ill-informed, grand delusions that personified my high school days.

So I stole a little idea from Clever Girl (and others I’m sure) to write a letter from my present self to my past self. Ya know, in light of what I know now. So here goes.

Dear 17-year old Emily,

I know that you may be finally starting to develop some sort of self-esteem in these your latter days of high school. You’re a senior now and finally don’t have to eat lunch alone in a bathroom stall for fear of being laughed at by all the popular kids. Yay us! (But really, I’ll give you a heads up now. Those so-called “popular kids” that wouldn’t give you the time of day and thought they were so much better? Yea well now their track record looks a little something like this: Knocked up, Divorced, Fat, STD-ridden, Alone, Poor, College drop-outs. Did I mention Fat? Yea, not just fat as in a chubby kinda way that could still maybe be kind of Piglet-esque endearing but really, truly, morbidly obese! Ahhh redemption is sweet.)

But all of this aside, we really must address that hair of yours. Not only is leaving the house with soaking wet hair, drenched with gel and stuck to your bare shoulders insanely dumb for health reasons (Hello?? Pneumonia?) it also just looks pretty ridiculous. Here’s some advice. Invest in a blow dryer with a diffuser. It will change your life. And kinda cancel out the whole braces thing you’re rockin right now.

Another thing. That very first boyfriend of yours? Yea, he’s pretty much the definition of DOUCHE. And while you may think that his brand new (READ: 2001) Honda Accord with the low body kit and the green neon lights beneath is the epitome of “cool” it in actuality is very gay. (And kinda makes you gay by association.) Not to mention that his hair looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. Um what are you thinking? Sooo not cute. Lose him.

And while we’re on the subject of disappointing men in your life, your prom is going to SUCK. Go ahead and get that in your head now so you don’t build it up too much only to get your dreams crushed. Forewarning: you end up alone at the end of the night, crying on a balcony, clutching 2 Smirnoff Ice and wondering why you will always be alone. (Trust me. You will not ALWAYS be alone. The best is yet to come.)

Keep writing. You like it and always will. Even if it adds to the nerd quotient.

But you can go ahead and forget those dreams of being a professional dancer for the rest of your life. Those 18 years of hard work, blood, sweat and tears will come to a crashing halt in a couple years . And yes, it will feel like your life’s over but it’s not. You will always miss it and you will never forget it. So cherish it now. Remember that feeling when you’re out on that stage or in that studio. You’ll very likely never experience that again.

And another sad realization. You know how everyone keeps quoting this statistic in the hallways as you sign yearbooks? That one that says you will never see or speak to 90% of the people you go to high school with after graduation. You know, the same one you swear is not and cannot be true? Not for you and your friends? Well it is. Actually it’s closer to 95%. But it’s not the end of the world. In fact, after awhile you don’t even realize it’s happened. And part of you won’t even care.

But there are those few good, quality friends that you’ll always hold on to. Like Smash? Yea, you guys are still BFF. Going on 10 years later and she is still such an amazing friend. You guys will go through a lot together (I won’t ruin it all for you now but just get ready) and you will always stick together. Make sure and cherish that one because these are some of the best years of your friendship.

There are others too. Your Sisturkey and Lindsoi and some other girls from that group. They’re still good, sweet girls and friends if you ever need them. So that’s something to look forward to.

I won’t tell you anymore cause there’s still stuff you need to learn and experience on your own. But I will tell you this. Strap on those dancing shoes kiddo. Your life song’s not even close to over.

And the best is yet to come….


23-year old Emily


Lindsay said...

um, the part about the hair....HILARIOUS! I miss those days sometimes...

LittleMissObsessive said...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW I love you! That was SO freaking cute! and hilarious..I too sometimes miss the carefree and skinnier days of high school but I think life is only going to get better for us here on out!

Leah said...

Hey Emily, Thanks for sharing your blog. I loved this entry. If you ever get a chance to read mine...keep in mind ...I am NOT a writer and my stuff is not as entertaining as yours...LOL

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