I’ve caught the itch.

That’s right, folks. We’ve got fleas!

(And by “we”, I mean Asia the possessed. So obviously she’s still not in my good graces.)

Although I can’t entirely blame it on her so much as the crusty kennel the Boo left her at when we left for Ohio in October. Trust me, he didn’t know it was going to be run by a bunch of inbreds with absolutely no regard for the loves of his life otherwise I assure you he would rather have cancelled the flight and stayed home then leave them in the hands of the ignorant.

But alas, he knew not and somehow Asia contracted the pesty little buggers which have now proceeded to infiltrate our entire house.

(Including my body. Ugh. I feel like I have leprosy or something. So not cute.)

Needless to say we’ve spent most of the day showering vigorously, powdering and vacuuming everything in sight and begrudgingly purchasing a $70 pack of Frontline. 70 dollars is the cheapest flea medicine??? You HAVE to be kidding me!! (Or at least that’s what I told the Boo when he announced the grim news upon his return.)

As my dad would say, that’s highway robbery! (Or the last 2 Twilight books and a couple bottles of wine. Sheesh.)

So now all that’s left is to anxiously wait for the suckers to die and fervently pray they didn’t lay any eggs in their stead.

Otherwise, I will seriously go ape shit. And itchy and ape shit is not a good look for me.

Believe it.