Saturday, February 21, 2009

Pondering Deep Thoughts ala Carrie Bradshaw

It’s no secret that I have expensive taste. I love expensive wine, expensive cheese, expensive shoes….

However I find myself more recently having to live vicariously through others in this regard as I am currently (still) unemployed and penny pinching has reared its ugly head as my newly acquired skill. GAY.

So in an effort to save a few dollars and still retain our togetherness and romance, the Boo and I decided that this week we should have date night at home. We set out with only one recipe (for Bleu cheese and shallot bread [which is amazing I might add]) in hand and ended up with much more. We wandered the aisles of Total Wine and perused various wines from across the globe before finally deciding on four bottles from various regions (all of which we had never tried.) We try to keep an open mind and sample as much as possible in our constant pursuit of wine aficionado status. (We’re getting there.)

Next we headed to our local Fresh Market to buy the tapas ingredients for our date night. On the menu: Havardi, Brie (my newest obsession), Gruyere, Bleu, and Mozzarella cheeses as well as an assortment of olives, the ingredients for homemade bruschetta and our own little salmon ahumado.

It was over sips of Zinfandel and bites of creamy Brie on crackers that it arose.

Boo: (Out of nowhere) How would you feel if I proposed to you and we didn’t exactly have all the money to have your dream wedding?

Me: (Suddenly all ears) What?!?!?!

Boo: ( me I questioned it) Ya know. If I were to propose, sayyyyyy sometime this summer or fall and we didn’t have all the money for a huge fantasy wedding would you still want to marry me?

Me: (Trying to suppress a massively cheesy grin) Well…yes. Of course. All I want is to marry you.

Boo: (Still imploring) But you wouldn’t be upset if it wasn’t at ______ (the venue I wanted) or we couldn’t have the world’s best caterer and 200+ guests. Would you still want to?

Me: (Pause for contemplation and silent squeals of jubilation) Well babe all that really matters is that in the end I marry you. That’s all I want. I mean, obviously in my wildest dreams I would love to have everything perfect and extravagant because I only plan to get married once…but at the same time I wouldn’t ever want that to deter you from asking because you think my expectations are too high. And, and…I don’t want us to talk about it too much where it’s more like a business transaction and you feel forced to ask me by X date. I don’t want it to be like that. Just whenever you want to ask me…ask me.

Boo: (Smiling now) Oh trust me, you won’t know when or how I’m going to propose. I’ve already thought about it and you’ll have no idea. Don’t worry.

We ended the conversation discussing exactly what type of ring (cut and color) was acceptable and of course, he passed. But I couldn’t help but think that maybe I’m being too selfish.

It’s no secret that every girl has the fantasy of getting married at the perfect venue with the perfect dress, perfect flowers, perfect cake and of course, perfect man. It’s what we’re conditioned to mull over from age 3 when we see our first Lifetime movie. But at what point do we slowly let go of those dreams in lieu of the only thing that really truly matters? Being with the one you love…your soul mate??

At what point do the colorful bouquets, open bar, couture dress and insane guest list take a back seat? Because that’s what I can’t stop mulling over now. In the end, the only thing that matters is that I’m with him. Married to him. And while he’s guaranteed me that it won’t be a court house wedding, I still can’t help but set my expectations low as of this warning. Of course I want the fairy tale dress and the expensive venue but at what cost am I willing to give that up??

And then I look into those gorgeous blue eyes that know me so well and that enormous heart that accepts me, faults and all (and that’s A LOT) and I can’t possibly think of anything that could ever stop me. All that I want is to be with him…court house or not…couture or consignment…150 guests or 2...none of it matters…as long as I’m with him

Maybe I won’t need that slideshow after all….


Margarita said...

I'm giving you a cute award cus you're so cute! And in true Carrie fashion, please know that you will always find a way (without going in debt!) to have your dream wedding - start saving girl! It's coming!

SassyGinger said...

haha I just posted about this on my site. my bf wants an average wedding, where I'm fine with a vegas drive thru at 3am. drunk, of course.

i never dreamt of a big wedding, i always thought "i never want to be the center of attention like that, but everyone else does it so i guess that's what i am supposed to do." then i realized i don't have to do that, so there is no way in hell i will. i don't know why, it just never appealed to me. going to weddings, on the other hand... count me in!

Jodi Bluebird said...

girl. this is so true life, it's beautiful. :)

Erica said...

There are plenty of girls who don't want all that crap. The idea of having my wedding at a reception hall gives me the creeps. As does knowing specs about a ring that only the gemologist would care about.

Check out sites like for some ideas of weddings that aren't ridiculously expensive, but are super romantic.

Erica said...

There are plenty of girls who don't want all that crap. The idea of having my wedding at a reception hall gives me the creeps. As does knowing specs about a ring that only the gemologist would care about.

Check out sites like for some ideas of weddings that aren't ridiculously expensive, but are super romantic.

Stephanie said...

Like others have said, I don't really want a huge, crazy wedding either. My boyfriend's ideal wedding is probably way bigger than how I would want my ideal one to be.

insomniaclolita said...

I feel you, I always want 5 start weddings, grand designer dresses, and amazing other expensive things LOL the ring is important too but oh well, let's see if I meet the guy that I really love in the point that i dont care about the rest of them anymore :P

Lil' Woman said...

Aww what a sweetie..figure out one or two things that are REALLY important two you (perhaps your dress and music or flowers and the venue) and spend money on that, but cut back and keep the other things as low key as possible..i'm sure you could pull off a fabulous wedding as long as you guys set up a budget and stick to it. Good luck girl! :)

LiLu said...

The moment when B first told me he'd already thought all about the ring is one I'll remember forever.

And I never get tired of hearing it... someday... :-)

Classy in Philadelphia said...

This was so beautifully written. I'm so glad you commented on my blog, because now I'm obsessed with yours!

I think that it's great that since you truly love him, you're willing to give up your fantasies.

Chub to Chic in Chicago said...

i'm all about shock and awe proposals. and i hope that someday i get shocked and awed.

Nashe^ said...

Aaw how sweet that you guys actually had that conversation. For all the materialistic things that I'm into, I once met a super great guy and actually considered eloping. Totally fuss-free, just to be with him.
Things really do change when you meet someone that special. =))

Shannon said...

Okay seriously, I'm completely and utterly jealous of you. We want to get married so bad, and I can't help but scan the wedding planner aisle at Barnes and Noble every time I go. I'm subscribed to a bajillion wedding blogs, and I watch shows on tv about weddings. I (and a lot of other couples) want nothing more than the ability to get married, so let that material stuff take a back seat, because the most important thing is that you CAN get married. <3 <3 I'm so happy for you both! I really truly am :) I can't wait to hear how Boo proposes! It's going to melt my heart.

Oh, and can we come? ;) We are only 2 hours away. Hahaha

Katie said...

Maybe I'm just a freak of nature, but I've never wanted the big wedding. In fact, I've had to talk my boyfriend down from what I refer to as the big-dress-big-cake weddings to something more simple: parents only, no invitations, no caterers, no limos. For me, I've always assumed that if I managed to find someone who loved me enough to want to spend a lifetime with me (and who am I kidding, if I managed to found someone who didn't annoy the crap out of me), it would be a miracle. And I'm not going to attempt to pull off a second miracle by trying to coordinate a dozen or more vendors and a couple hundred human beings into one perfect, spectacular event. ;)

Either way you finally do it, best of luck to both of you.

d.muffin said...

Think about having a small wedding because of the emotion and sentiment behind it. Then, in 5 years time have a bigger ceremony that you've 1. had time to plan for 2. had time to save for and 3. value because it's not only your dream celebration, but almost a recommitment to your already amazing marriage!

I got hitched in Vegas with my hubby and we're in the process of planning our "real" ceremony. Of course, international weddings are a bit more complicated :)

Emily said...

margarita - thanks so much doll!! you're too kind! :]

sassy ginger - no kidding. i LOVE going to weddings if for nothing else than to get totally HAMMERED. haha kidding. sorta....not really.

jodi bluebird - aww thank you so much. that comment made my day.

erica - thanks so much for that website. i only got to glance at it for now but definitely looking forward to checking it out more very soon.

stephanie - yea, i know but i think it's the italian in me that wants the big wedding. that and i have soooo many freaking relatives that may very well disown me if they're not all invited, ya heard? lol

insomniac lolita - well, he promised me that he would get me an amazing ring regardless of the cost so i'm not too worried about that. he has excellent taste and i'm sure i'll be happy with whatever he chooses. :]

lil woman - exactly! i think we'll probably go with an amazing caterer/wine list (bc of our love for great food) and a great venue. everything else we can compromise on to save money.

lilu - oh sweetie i know EXACTLY what you mean. i mean, he's mentioned it before (wanting to propose and all) but for some reason this conversation is just ingrained in my head. i can't stop playing it over and over...and of course, grinning like an idiot at the same time!! haha

classy in philadelphia - thank you so much. that is really too sweet. and for the record, i'm obsessed with your blog as well! :]

chub to chic - i know. there's something about those proposals when you least expect it that just make you wanna bawl like a baby. in a good way though.

nashe - i could not agree more with that last line. sigh.

shannon - i know i already answered this on your blog but HELL YES you guys can come to the wedding. in fact, i expect you there. duh!! especially considering at this point that my blog friends are more friends than my real life friends right about now!

katie - dude i know exactly what you mean about finding someone who doesn't annoy the living shit out of you. i never thought i'd find that...till him. now i don't care how we do it as long as in the end we're together! :]

d muffin - first off congrats on a successful marriage. in today's day and age that's something to be very proud of. and secondly, the small ceremony initially and a larger recomittment ceremony later was exactly what the boo proposed as an alternative and i agree. it doesn't sound like a great compromise!

Emily said...

d muffin - whoops. that last part meant to say it DOES sound like a great compromise. my bad. lol

Erin [aka E.Wiggle™] said...

Up until recently, I've banned the idea of a wedding from my mind. I was burned by someone whom I thought was "the one." Fortunately for me, he wasn't because I'm sooooo much happier with Boyfriend. I hope that sometime in the near future he will pop the question and I'll get to plan my wedding. I haven't decided on anything... not even the ring. Maybe I should start because I don't think it's going to be long until him and I become us forever. (Awwwwww, lol.)

Akirah said...

I think a good test is being more excited about the marriage than you are about the wedding. It looks like you passed!

Shoshanah said...

I could easily spend all my money on expansive cheeses. no problem.

And while I know it will be a while until I wind up getting married it's hard not to come up with all these amazing what-if ideas. I have no idea what the price would be for some of the stuff, but I'm sure if I did I'd be a little scared.

Tattooed Dorothy said...

I skipped the slideshow :)

Christina said...

It's not a bad thing to have a date at home - my Boyfriend and I started doing that a year ago. We enjoy our NetFlix movies, our White Zinfidel, and bowl of popcorn :) We love to stay home sometimes, and we know it'll be good on our wallets :)

Well, I think it's amazing he's going to propose :) :) Mine keeps saying he has "big plans" with his income tax money each year, but I don't hear about the plans and I don't see the plans.


Jacqueline said...

He sounds like such a wonderful guy. I've been to some beautiful weddings that were done inexpensively. Have you checked out the Wedding Bee. She has some great (FRUGAL!) wedding tips on there :)

The New Black said...

I know what you mean! Long ago I entertained the idea of a dream/movie wedding, but with time I realized that it really wasn't that important to me. In the end it can be just the two of us and it will be fine.

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