Purse Puke

Awhile back I got tagged by … ummm… someone…(sorry, I scoured my comments for a good 10 minutes looking and couldn’t find who it was. My bad. Crucify me.) to do the super nosy, super embarrassing purse invasion blog. So today, while I was complaining to the Boo about having no inspiration lately, I decided I could just dump the contents of my life on the floor and let you all see it.

So here it is…present from the Boo back in December.

And a view from the top. Yes, it’s a bit heavy but I like to be prepared. Plus I like to convince myself that I’m getting my workout for the day in by lugging this thing around everywhere. (See? That’s the delusional thinking he was referring to. I do it all the time.)

And here’s what’s inside.

From top to bottom, left to right:

First row: My spiffy new planner (I usually have much bigger, bulkier ones but this one is working just fine for now. Ya know considering I have no job, already graduated school and have next to zero friends, the little one suits me just fine. For now.) “Tulle Little, Tulle Late” by Kimberly Llewelyn (just one of the many new super girly books I snatched up at the library yesterday to get me out of my most recent funk.) My newest issue of Harper’s Bazaar that is pretty much COMPLETELY RUINED (stupid post office woman ripped the entire cover and first 5 pages trying to cram it into our mailbox. Whore.) A napkin note between the Boo and I. (We’re mature…as our illustrations can attest to.)

Second row: Aldo wallet from sister dearest, checkbook, pens and 1 pencil, Hall’s menthol cough drops (because I’m coming down with something ghastly. Hooray!) Germ-X hand sanitizer, Excedrin Migraine (because I’ve had a perpetual headache since I was 7 years old. No lie.) Eye drops (never mind the fact that the front label is completely ripped and defaced. I used to carry it with me in my apron at my old serving job. Ya know, for putting it in asshole’s drinks that give me attitude and piss me off my eyes. Duh.) Stupid death sticks. (I contemplated not even including these in the picture since I’m down to maybe 1 a week, but then I figured I wouldn’t be keepin it real so I threw em in there. Don’t judge me.)

Third row: Headphones for my iPod, aforementioned iPod, Blackberry Pearl, keys, Mary Kay lipgloss in Cream and Sugar, MAC lipgloss in Chai, 2 very used up, practically empty tubes of Bonne Belle Cappuccino lipgloss (Don’t even laugh. Everyone knows the cheap shit is where it’s at.) Chapstick medicated, a hair clip, Prada sunglasses.

Not pictured: The digital camera I took the pictures with (duh) and my lady products (no one wants to see that.)

Well there you have it. Now I tag anyone who wants to do it or needs some inspiration for a post (like me). Plus I’m a nosy creep and I want to see what you’re stashin’ in there.

"P"erfection

Ok, first things first. If you’re reading this in your reader right now stop everything you’re doing and come look at my page. No seriously. Come look.

I slaved away into the wee hours of the night trying to set up something nice and purty for you guys and I think you may like it. Big ups to Delicious Design Studios for the design. I LURVE it too much.

Ok, now that you’re sufficiently impressed (you are, aren’t you?) on to the meat of the post (ughh what a gross phrase. I’ll need to jot that one down for the disgusting words list. And ‘jot’ that’s pretty hideous too. Dually noted.)

Wait, what’s going on?

Oh right, a few days ago Tia assigned me a letter to play in this addictive little word game that’s been swirling around the blogosphere. I got the letter P so now I have to list 10 things I love that start with the letter P. This should be interesting…

1. Prada. Despite the fact that I own nothing else but a pair of sunglasses from Prada I still love them dearly. I’m hoping to expand my collection one day but ya know, that kind of requires a JOB and an INCOME, both of which I’m currently lacking so we may have to wait on this one. Damnit.

2. Purses. (As in ‘bags’ but I had the letter P so I had to use the mom version. Shoot me.) Purses top the list along with shoes and jewelry in my never-get-enough category. Too bad I’m usually so lazy that I don’t switch bags for weeks and end up rockin the same one for far too long. It’s a disease I tell you.

3. Pedicures. Who doesn’t love a good pedicure? (Hell, I think I’d even take a bad one if they just rub my feet and spare me the ingrown toe nail.) I used to make a habit of getting one at least once a month if not more but alas, there’s something unjustifiable about pampering your feet in lieu of paying your insurance bill. Le sigh.

4. Pointe. (That’s ballet for all you not in the know. Get with it.) I absolutely LOVE dance in any form but there’s something just so beautiful and mesmerizing about a pas de deux en pointe. I could honestly watch it for days and never tire of it. Oh, if only I could still be dancing and on stage… (Have we noticed how “woe is me” this post has gotten?)

5. Palahniuk. As in Chuck Palahniuk. The man has a sick and twisted mind but I love it. For anyone looking for an amazing yet slightly (read: largely) disturbing read, go get Haunted. You’ll never look at calamari the same. I promise.

6. Planning. Oh c’mon, you had to know this was coming! There’s just something about making a list (and checkin it twice) that really appeals to me. I love knowing everything in advance, planning every minute detail, and reviewing it endlessly. It comes with the anal retentiveness. Yet another disease. I am a sick, sick woman.

7. Pasta. Amazing, yummy, artery-clogging pasta is a staple in my life. Doesn’t matter what kind of “diet” I’m on (or not) I’ll always find some way to justify this. I wouldn’t be staying true to my heritage if I didn’t gorge myself on lasagna, penne, and vermicelli bi-weekly. I’m just sayin.

8. Pinot Noir. I could drink myself into a coma with this shit. Not sayin I do. It’s more like I drink until my lips turn so purple that it takes removing a layer of skin from my lip the next morning because a bleeding lower lip is better than having everyone at your work knowing you’re a lush. (I’m clearly not to kind to my kissers. Then again if they didn’t look like Reba McIntyre’s and pull a disappearing act every time I smile we might be on better terms.)

9. Pictures. There’s not really much to say about this one other than I LOVE pictures. Any time we go out, get dressed up, or are even just lounging around, nine times out of ten I’ll bust out my camera for a mini photo sesh. The Boo loathes this and I think it may be the catalyst to our divorce 20 years from now.

10. Pistachios. Ok I’m just a fat ass. There’s no explanation for this other than I love them and they’re good and I kind of feel like overdrafting my account to go buy a 12 dollar bag right now. (Don’t worry, Dad. I’m just kidding. Sorta. Not really.)

So there you have it. If you’d like a letter so you can play along, leave me a comment letting me know and I’ll assign you one.

Or you can just leave me a comment telling me how wonderfully amazing and fabulous I am and how we would so be BFF in real life and I’d totally like that too.

Happy Hump Day, ya’ll.