Rain and Realizations

Today has been one of those wonderful days. Started off a little slow (and albeit, annoying, particularly if you know my stance on indecisiveness) but progressed nicely into one of those great, amazing days.

You know those days when everything just seems right? Conversation (and drinks) flow freely. You’re blessed with the company of an amazing man and able for just a moment to shirk off the stresses of daily life and just be. Just enjoy the one you’re with, where you’re at. And ultimately realize that damn, you’ve got it pretty good?

Well today was one of those days.

The Boo and I relished in our lazy Sunday off. The rain fell just steadily enough to provide justification for the lazy self-indulgence that only it can provide. Sushi and drinks for lunch was followed by our first viewing of Twilight (more on that later) and then a romantic dinner at Bonefish over wine and candlelight.

It’s days like these that I realize what a great man I’ve found. How truly wonderful he is. Although he has his flaws (as does anyone) I’ve realized that I love those imperfections just as much (if not more) than the obvious perfections.

(Ok, maybe he’s not perfect but he’s pretty freakin close.)

Feeling his hand on my leg as we watch our newest shared guilty pleasure. (BTW…nothing is more amazing than discussing film discrepancies that deviated from the text of your favorite vampire series than with the love of your life. It will truly solidify your bond. Trust me.) Staring into his eyes as we discuss our future life together. Realizing that this is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s enough to make the butterflies from the first few dates reawaken.

I know I write about the Boo a lot and I’m sorry if it gets redundant at times. (Actually, I’m not really. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Whatevs.) But I do it for a reason. He is my rock. He is my best friend. He is the only person I can ever picture myself with (and ever want to be with) for the rest of my life.

As Bella would say, “I dream of being with [him] forever.”

And I plan on doing just that.

I’ve caught the itch.

That’s right, folks. We’ve got fleas!

(And by “we”, I mean Asia the possessed. So obviously she’s still not in my good graces.)

Although I can’t entirely blame it on her so much as the crusty kennel the Boo left her at when we left for Ohio in October. Trust me, he didn’t know it was going to be run by a bunch of inbreds with absolutely no regard for the loves of his life otherwise I assure you he would rather have cancelled the flight and stayed home then leave them in the hands of the ignorant.

But alas, he knew not and somehow Asia contracted the pesty little buggers which have now proceeded to infiltrate our entire house.

(Including my body. Ugh. I feel like I have leprosy or something. So not cute.)

Needless to say we’ve spent most of the day showering vigorously, powdering and vacuuming everything in sight and begrudgingly purchasing a $70 pack of Frontline. 70 dollars is the cheapest flea medicine??? You HAVE to be kidding me!! (Or at least that’s what I told the Boo when he announced the grim news upon his return.)

As my dad would say, that’s highway robbery! (Or the last 2 Twilight books and a couple bottles of wine. Sheesh.)

So now all that’s left is to anxiously wait for the suckers to die and fervently pray they didn’t lay any eggs in their stead.

Otherwise, I will seriously go ape shit. And itchy and ape shit is not a good look for me.

Believe it.

An Exercise in Thankfulness

I think we all know how this post is gonna go. I’m a self-professed nerd and proven to be pretty cheesy in most occasions that don’t warrant it but I feel I can at least get away with it today.

(Plus I know those of you who aren’t slaves to NaBloPoMo like I won’t even bother reading this so that’s probably for the best.)

So in the spirit of the season, I’d like to take the time to acknowledge those in my life who have truly blessed mine simply by being a part of it. My family, my friends and of course, the Boo, I have no idea where or who I’d be without each and every one of you. Thank you for making me the happiest person in the world. And as much as I may complain and bemoan my trivial problems, I could honestly never ask for more.

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Now go out there and show some love to the ones who make it all worthwhile.

My ego’s now inflated beyond belief…

Ha. Kidding. But really, I got an award yesterday from Jacqueline and then again today from Joanna.

Thanks ladies. Ya’ll are so wonderful and you have no idea what wonders you’ve done for my confidence in allowing me to now paste this little html code under my “awards” section. (And yes, I’ll most likely paste it twice just so anyone who doesn’t read today’s post knows 2 different people thought I earned it. Kidding. Maybe.) But really. I’m very flattered and probably undeserving but I appreciate it nonetheless.

And so now it’s my turn to pass on the love. I’m giving this award to…

1. Courtney – because she gave me my very first award ever and she’s pretty rad on top of that.
2. Ben - because his posts literally make me piss my pants every single day. And I just love the term "newf." True story.

3. Melanie – because she has such a great way of expressing herself and I look forward to reading her blog every day.

4. Mous – (over at “Busy getting buried alive in this legacy”) cause she’s a bit of a noob and I want her to feel welcome. Plus what she has written so far is great!! Check it out.

Ok now, moving on…

The Boo and I have spent the majority of the day cooking all day in preparation for the big feast tomorrow. And I have to admit, I’ve been a total nerd/nazi about all this cooking and planning and whatnot. I even sat down last night and comprised a two page list of everything that needed to be done, in detail, with time limits and approximations. I even sent it to my mother to get her opinion and she most definitely wrote me back and said “You’re crazy. But it’s adorable” (ie. “My, you never grew out of that awkward nerd stage in which you were an embarrassment to the whole family, did you?") In other words, she thought it was overkill. Whatever, she said it’s adorable and you know it’s true.

Yea, I know. I’m not right in the head. But it’s my first time cooking this huge meal all by myself and I just want to make sure everything comes out perfect. No Griswold family turkey or anything. (Has anyone picked up on how truly obsessed I am with that movie? Because I am. And I think by now it’s more than apparent.)

Anyhoodle. After all our prep work today and yesterday things are looking pretty smooth for the big day tomorrow. I’ve been taking pictures through the whole process so I can have a little picture diary to look back on and remember my first Thanksgiving with the Boo. And if you’re lucky I might even let you guys see some.

Oh and with all this cooking I’ve been doing recently I realized I don’t have an apron. Thus I’m suddenly compelled to crave one and I think I’ve found the perfect one.

Isn’t this just the cutest thing ever? It’s from Jessie Steele and she’s got tons of cute, affordable vintage aprons so go check em out and if you’re in the giving spirit you can go ahead and purchase mine as an early Christmas present. For me, of course. Ha. Kidding. (I mean, unless you really wanna buy it for me and then, hey, who am I to stop you? Go for it!)

Ok, so I think that’s about it. Other than forcing the Boo to watch Charlie Brown Thanksgiving specials and lame Christmas movies, buy some smelly candles for the house and engage in other cheesy holiday rituals for my benefit nothing else is new.

I think I’ll make another Christmas mix just to push my luck.

Toodles.

Uncensored

Ever feel like there are things you want to say? Need to say or even HAVE to say? But for some reason or another you don’t (or you don’t enough). Life gets in the way. Feelings must be remembered and accounted for. Relationships must be coddled and in some cases, opinions must be squelched.

I read something somewhere that utilized this idea. (I feel awful that I can’t remember and if/when I do I promise I will link it.) Basically, they used their blog as a forum to say things to certain people in their life but without mentioning any names or clarification. It seemed extremely cathartic and I couldn’t resist the chance to do it myself. So, with that being said…

“Enough with the pretending. You can’t please everyone and in your attempt to do so you’re simply isolating the only real friend you’ve ever had. Just be real for once so things can go back to normal. Please.”

“He cheated on you. And besides that he’s not good enough for you. Never was.”

“Your mother can not support you forever. You’re a grown ass man. Get a job and keep it for once. It’s not that hard.”

“You are hands down the most inspiring person I know. I could never begin to comprehend the things that you’ve done and been through and yet survived so gracefully. You are truly my hero and I love you.”

“You are a never-ending parade of drama. Stop it. Just stop. All of it. It’s too much.”

“You are my everything. Period. And I think I would miss you even if we’d never met.”

“I miss you and I hate that our memories have been stalled because of distance. Just know that you will always be my soul mate.”

“Sorry sweetie but those skinny jeans are truly hideous.”

“All the crying used to bother me but now I realize why you did it. You really are truly great and although we’ve had our differences in the past I will never take you for granted again. I swear.”

“I love and miss you both and would do absolutely anything for either of you. No questions asked.”

Phew. I feel better now. Maybe you should go try it. Yea, you!



**Don't try and guess what goes to who. That would completely defeat the purpose and I won't tell. So just give it up! And if you really know me then you should be able to figure some of them out.

My Ass Just Gained 5 Lbs Because of These

The cookies were a success.

(But really, did you expect anything less? I mean I am pretty much Chef Excellente and can do no wrong. Ha. Jokes. But really, not to toot my own horn or anything but I am pretty B.A. in the kitchen. Really. Believe it.)

Here’s some pics of the yummy deliciousness. And in case anyone’s wondering, I edited them on the cutest little website ever, Picnik. The site is super rad and totally free so if you haven’t already you should definitely check it out.

I actually made 15 more cookies after this picture was taken. I like to be extravagant. It makes me happy! :]


And in case any of you are in the baking spirit and want to whip something up to wow your friends and woo your man (or woman) I’ve included the recipe below. Enjoy.

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies [ie Nummy Yum Yums]

What You’ll Need:

1 cup shortening
¾ cup packed light brown sugar
¾ white granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups rolled oats
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. In a large bowl, cream shortening, brown sugar and granulated sugar. Add eggs and mix thoroughly.

3. Combine the baking soda, salt, flour and vanilla and stir into creamed mixture.

4. Add oatmeal and chocolate chips and stir until well blended.

5. Drop by spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 15-17 minutes.

Blissfully Anxious

I feel the need to apologize for the past week in posts. I know they’ve been rushed and half assed and I recognize my suckiness for allowing those to suffice in place of the typical cynically profound posts you all have come to expect from me.

(Profound. Ha!)

So for that I’m sorry.

But I am glad to see that I haven’t lost any of you. My readers, all 10 of you (Yes, that’s right. We’ve added a newcomer! Hi there! Glad to have ya! Take your shoes off and make yourself comfortable.) have been so great in still reading my crap and putting up with me. So thanks again. You guys are the best.

In other news, I’ve been Run-around-Sue all day today. (The Boo likes to call me “Sleep-around-Sue”. As a joke. Obviously. So I’m just making a little play on that affectionate pet name he’s given me to explain my day.)

But really. I feel so accomplished today. Ran lots of errands and took care of a bunch of stuff that I’d been putting off the last few weeks. Yay me!

And after that I got to do something that brought sheer joy to my sarcastic little soul. I went grocery shopping for the Boo and I’s first ever Thanksgiving feast!!! Wandering around the aisles massaging fresh produce and consulting my carefully detailed list I was in absolute heaven.

(I even snuck in the stuff to make a pumpkin pie AND a pecan pie, instead of just one. Oh and ingredients for sharp cheddar cheese and sausage balls for apps. And spinach and ricotta pastries. Shhh.)

And I definitely text the Boo at one point in my ecstasy exclaiming “I’m so freaking excited!!! You have no idea!!!” He of course was oblivious and wrote back “Why?”

What do you mean “Why?” Hello?? Thanksgiving you dum dum.

If it’s not obvious at this point I am a huge nerd when it comes to the holidays and Thanksgiving in particular as it has always been my most favoritest of them all. Screw the presents. Give me more good food and wine.

So now I’m home with all my accoutrement for the feast and I wish Thanksgiving was tomorrow. Honestly. I’m having to resist the urge to go peel potatoes, chop onions, snap green beans, and grate cheese.

So much so that I even went back out the store and bought ingredients to make homemade chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for tonight’s dessert.

Because Thursday just can’t come soon enough.

The Exorcism of Asia the Pitbull

So, I was under the assumption that today was just a regular old Sunday.

Sleep in. Coffee and breakfast with the Boo.

Don the jerseys. Head to bar. Sip mimosas and watch the game.

Switch to beer as we proceed to lose...again.

Home for sulking and laziness.

You know...the usual.

And then the *demon dog waltzed over to the corner of the living room....and threw her guts up.

Never a dull moment.

*Let me just say, I'm having a brief lapse of guilt for all the previous attacks on her character. She's really not that awful. Just a little annoying and crazy. But hey, she's only a pup. And maybe whatever she just puked up cleansed her soul of all demonic presence and we'll be graced with a sweet, loving, obedient dog from here on out. Or not.

Insignificance

We all know by now that Recovery Days essentially mean I am good for just about nothing. But in order to assuage the gods of NaBloPoMo, I have to post something, so...

Eff.

Because the anal retentive side of me loves lists….

Here are a few things I am currently loving and hating.

Love:

The Twilight Series (As if that’s not beyond obvious at this point)

The Knot (Think back to this post and try not to judge me too much for it)

Our DVR (which will most likely be sacrificed in the fore coming holiday months in lieu of bills and presents and all that jazz. Le sigh.)

This clip. (Shout outs to JD for brightening my day with this little gem. Effing classic.)



The phrase “You are a low budget bitch” a la Kim from Real Housewives of ATL. I’m totally using that on someone tonight.

And the Boo (but especially when he makes faces like this…)



Hate:

Bills, collectors, the obvious money issues.

Tyra Banks and the atrociousness that has become ANTM. Can you just die already? That would be great. And I know the clip is old but it's fabulous and "fierce" and classic psycho Tyra.



THIS stupid song that the BFF has on her myspace page and has now been haunting me all day. MAKE IT STOP!!!



The phrase “What’s fair for Peter’s fair for Paul.” The Boo uses it superfluously and it makes me want to throw him from a tall building.

The insane amount of Twilight movie trailers. Ok. We get it. Edward’s hot. I’m going, I’m going.

NaBloPoMo. Seriously, enough is enough. You are draining the creative life from me. Cut it out already.

What are you all loving and hating this week?

Now I'm Starving

Thanksgiving is just one week from today!!

(Pause for a momentary SQUEAL!!!!!!)

This year is proving to be the very first Thanksgiving in which I will cook everything completely by myself (with the exception of a little help by the Boo) and that is exciting and scary all at the same time.

(Pause for slight questioning of self and culinary abilities. Forge ahead with renewed [unmerited] confidence and naivete.)

So as the planner in me is so inclined to do, I've been planning our Thanksgiving menu for, oh, the last 4 months. This is the most recent (and most likely, final) draft.

Turkey, duh.

Stuffing

Mashed Potatoes and Gravy

Green Bean Casserole

Squash Casserole
Sweet Potatoes with brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg (for the Boo)

Cranberry Relish

Croissants (minus the Chinese placard)

Pumpkin Pecan Pie

And of course lots and lots of this...

Everything is being made from scratch. No Stove Top, canned Cranberry or Instant Mashed Potatoes. Uh uh. All homemade and hopefully it turns out as good as my childhood remembers it.

What are you all having/making for Thanksgiving?

Procrastination Epitomized

Today seems to be one of those days where you have so much to do and so little time but you purposefully put it all off anyways only to later cause yourself a well-deserved panic attack.

Yea, that sounds pretty much like it.

I woke up at 7:30 to some douche calling my phone from a blocked number. Hello? If you’re not in my phone book I’m not answering. Leave a message and I’ll decide if I want to call you back or not. (Most likely NOT.) On second thought, even if you’re in my phone, don’t call me at 7 am because I won’t answer. (Unless you’ve just lost a limb and are bleeding to death in my driveway. In that case, leave a message and I’ll probably respond. Maybe.) Jokes.

Like I was saying, I woke up at 7 something and could have started my day but ruled against it, opting for another hour of sleep. Well one hour turned into about 3 and before I knew it it was 10:30. What the eff? Time to get up and be productive.

Not.

I made the Boo make me some coffee, checked my e-mail and went right back to bed with my newly acquired book, New Moon. (Let me just note here that the only reason I got this book [despite the fact that I was promised it when I received Twilight] was because the Boo decided yesterday to find out what all the fuss was about. And now he’s hooked. I’m not kidding. It’s been glued to his face since about this time yesterday and he’s just about done. So while he can claim all he wants that he bought it for me because he loves me and wants me to have it, I’m not buying it. I know it’s purely his self-interested ulterior motive that fueled it but whatever, I get my new book and he doesn’t think I’m so crazy anymore. So it’s win-win.)

Needless to say, I didn’t get around to doing anything really productive till about, uhh, 2 hours ago. Anyone wonder why I’m still unemployed? Not I. My blazing ambition is simply overwhelming today.

But as promised I thought you guys would like to see this nifty little award I got from the lovely Courtney over at Courtneyology101. She’s a doll and I don’t deserve it but thanks so much.

Side note: The first few times I saw this award I definitely thought it said “Kreatin Blogger” and I was thinking to myself, “What the hell is that? Is this supposed to be some kind of insult? Is she saying I’m not human or something? Or whatever ‘Kreatin’ is?” And then my dumbass right clicked to save it for my own post and realized it actually says “Kreativ (as in creative) Blogger”. Aha!! So I guess that means I’m still pretty kick ass!! Sweet!

Here are the rules for this one:

1. Mention the blog that gave it to you and comment on their blog to let them know you've posted your award.

2. Publish these rules.

3. Share six values that are important to you and six things you do not support.

4. Grant the prize to six people.

Six Important Values/Beliefs:
1. Respect
2. Loyalty
3. Honesty
4. Patience (hey, they never said I had to actually embody them)
5. Forgiveness
6. Love

Six Values/Beliefs That Suck the Big One:
1. Dishonesty
2. Disrespect
3. Ignorance
4. Arrogance
5. Hate
6. Inequality

And now, the lucky 6 I deem “Kreatin” (uh, I mean creative) enough to receive this award are:

Ashley – Little Miss Obsessive
Jacqueline – Miss Musing
JD – deep thoughts from joanna duffy
Tia – Clever Girl Goes Blog
Maxie – I hate so much
Ashley – clever blog name here

Love you all. Now I’m off to go continue my extremely uneventful, procrastination epitomized day. Adios for now.

Everything You Never Wanted To Know

As mentioned yesterday, I got some recognition from a couple fellow bloggers. However, as I was largely incapacitated to do much more than whine in bed with my face mask on and nag the Boo for water refills and Excedrin all day, I never got around to doing my part.

But alas, a new day has come (sung like Miss Dion here. Yea, I’m a nerd) and I’m feeling much better. Thanks for asking.

First, I was tagged by BlackLog over at, you guessed it, The BlackLog. So you can thank him for subjecting you to this if it’s totally boring and pointless. (See how I place blame so readily? Yea, I’m good at that.) But if it’s a masterpiece well then, you know, it was totally my idea. (See how I STILL take credit for things that go well?)

Ha. Jokes.

Moving on.

The rules are simple. I have to divulge 8 random facts/habits. Now let’s see if I can do this without making myself sound like a raging alcoholic or someone with a slight multiple personality disorder.

1. Until I was about 17 or so you could always tell when I snuck food in the kitchen. How you may ask? Because I would ever so discreetly dance around the linoleum floor whilst scarfing down whatever I’d gotten my hands on in an attempt to “look normal” and not catch a fat joke from some nosy family member. As many of you know, I danced for 18 years, so in my mind, pirouettes and fouettes in the kitchen while chewing down a mouthful of taco meat were totally inconspicuous. Yea, not so much. They caught on. And quick. And every now and then I’ll catch myself doing mini-arabesques and ron de jambes while hiding in the kitchen picking at leftovers. Because, after all, the Boo was never wise to my devious ways. Until now…damnit.

2. I pull the E brake every time I park. Regardless of whether there is an incline present or not. No matter what. I guess the habits of driving a manual as my first car never went away. The Boo thinks this one is strange. (Go figure.) And he’s usually pretty pissed to find it engaged when he’s been driving for the last 10 seconds wondering why the hell my little Volvo won’t go any faster. Whoops.

3. I must always, always have the volume at an even number. Doesn’t matter if it’s in my car, home stereo, or one of our TVs. If the volume bar shows a number it has to be even. Period. And if it’s not I will freak until you change it. I guess it’s just part of my anal retentiveness rearing its ugly head. (Side Note: One of my old roommates said she had this same disorder except with odd numbers. I could never figure out if she just made it up to mess with me or if it was legitimate. Either way, it caused serious problems on my mental health. And our friendship.)

4. I am obsessed with anything remotely concerning weddings. You just got engaged? Let’s discuss every last detail. Wedding cake shows? Yes, please. Bridezillas, My Fair Wedding, and A Wedding Story? I could watch them all day. And it’s not just the dress or the ring or the honeymoon. It’s everything!! I am overly fascinated with the minutiae of engagements, weddings, and wedding planning. It’s a disorder, I know.

5. Speaking of disorders, I have a phobia of just about everything. The dark, spiders, fire, large animals, heights (somewhat), midgets, clowns…Should I go on?

6. I have over 5000 songs on my iPod, 5 different CD cases overflowing with music and bags and bags of mixtapes. (Yes, TAPES.) But I still don’t think that’s enough. I will never have enough music.

7. I’ve never made lower than a C on anything. And when I did get that rare satisfactory “C” I would cry for hours and hours, berating myself and my intelligence, vowing to never let it happen again. (God, rereading that makes me sound like such a freaking nerd. I’m not gonna lie. Growing up, I was definitely “that” girl. Don’t worry; she’s still with me somewhere. Just minus the glasses, braces, and virginity.)

8. I’ve seen every Sex and the City episode more times than humanly possible. Guaranteed. I’ve watched every episode multiple times, in and out of order. I own the entire series and every bonus disc ever made. And when I finally get the chance to visit New York, you bet your sack I’ll be the first one in line for the Sex and the City tour.

That was surprisingly way harder than I expected but now you know the drill. I’m subjecting 8 more of you to the same torture, er, I mean, task. The rules are:

1) Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves.
2) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3) At the end of your blog post, you need to tag eight people and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.
4) If you have already been tagged and do not wish to go through the exercise then let the taggee know.

So now I’m tagging:

Ashley - Little Miss Obsessive

Lindsay - Random Thoughts of Mine

Courtney - Courtneyology101

Maxie - I hate so much

Jacqueline - Miss Musing

JD - Shirt or Dress?

Jossie - Ramblings of a Semi-Literate Mind

Ashley - Clever Blog Name Here

Ok, that’s all for one day. I promise I’ll show off my flashy and totally undeserved award tomorrow. Until then, keep it classy, yo.

I'm a Walking Amy Winehouse Song

I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to write for today but honestly, it’s been a rough one for me. (Which should only be indication enough that last night was a success.) I’m still pretty sick on top of the whole hangover deal so just formulating coherent sentences is a big accomplishment for me today.

So instead of posting an embarrassing blow-by-blow of my night as a rock star, I figured I’d save that for another day and just post a bunch of random crap to satisfy my obligation to stupid NaBloPoMo. Oh how I loathe thee.

Did anyone happen to catch SNL on Saturday night? I was more than a little disappointed at how un-funny the skits were especially when I highly anticipated a laugh riot after seeing who was hosting. Paul Rudd anyone? Pretty much one of the funniest guys on the planet. But there was a highlight that definitely made the whole staying up past my sick girl bedtime worth it. Justin Timberlake in a leotard. Need I say more? It was probably the greatest part of my week. Watch it fast before stupid NBC rips it down. Effing tyrants.



In other news, I got a sweet ass award from this girl and was tagged by this guy and I promise I will do/post them both tomorrow. I feel I owe it to them to reciprocate their kindness at another time when I DON’T feel like I’m about to void my intestines from my body.

What? Too far? Well, I don’t care today.

What I've Learned

Yes, I'm still gone. Yes, I most likely still feel like Sicky McSickerson. And yes, this may not post when I need it to because I'm still not sure how this whole auto-post thing works. But I didn't wanna fail at NaBloPoMo and I didn't wanna let you guys down. So here's an excerpt from my journal many, many moons ago. I think the overall sentiment still resounds somewhere with all of us. Even now.

After one too many breakdowns and way too much heartbreak this is what I've learned.

Without pain you gain nothing. Without struggle you remain weak. Without loss you never fully appreciate life. And without heartache you never understand what love really is.

Life is full of twists and turns and at times it may seem chaotic, hopeless and inopportune but it's the way in which you learn from it that makes you a better person. We all make mistakes. We all wish things were different. At times, we may even wish we were someone else but one thing is certain - your life is yours and yours only. Don't EVER let anyone take that away from you. You are who you are for a reason and yes, sometimes things may not go as you wanted them to or as planned. And yes, there are times when you may wonder what it's all for and why not just give up? But no one ever said life was easy. Learn from your mistakes, cut your losses and move on. Growing from the hand life deals you is part of the process and it's whether or not you accept that challenge that makes you who you are.

It's time to stop agonizing over the things that you cannot change because all the "what ifs", "why nots" and "if onlys" leave you in a place where you are no longer LIVING your life. It's time to stop passively sitting by and letting life slip away, worrying about things that are of no significance in the long run. It's time to start actively LIVING your life. No more torturing yourself over mistakes in the past or things you wish you could take back and situations you wish you could change. LIVE your life. Don't worry about yesterday (because it's already gone and nothing will change it) or tomorrow (because no one knows what the next day will bring). Live NOW. Do what makes you happy. Don't worry about pleasing everyone because it's impossible. And in the grand scheme of things your life is just a blip on the radar screen...miniscule in comparison to it all.

So why not? Live, learn, grow, change....because we certainly don't know when it will be too late. We never know which breath will be our last.

Woe is Me

I’m sick.

Stuffy nose, congested head, heavy eyes, license to whine all day kinda sick.

And it sucks. Especially because the Boo and I are about to leave on our super secret weekend getaway. We’re supposed to be relaxing and taking a break from everything. Reveling in our utter rebellion and oblivion as we escape the real world for a few days and just relax.

But it seems my cold wants to come along for the ride. Wonderful.

I’m gonna try and be a trooper and suck it up but I’m not sure how that will pan out. Woe is me.

Oh and here’s an edit to yesterday’s post. For added emphasis, I present to you the Boo’s battle wound. Doesn’t look nearly as bad as it is in real life because I took it on my crappy Blackberry and the lighting was bad but you get the point.

But how adorable are those eyes?? LOVE them. (And yes, I realize he looks like he has no eyelashes but I swear he does. And they’re super long and gorgeous and I’m jealous. But again, crappy phone pic = deceivingly morphed pic. Deal with it.)

EDIT: See?? The eyelashes?? I wasn't lying. Oh and don't mind the hand pressing against the Boo's face. Just some dumb girl trying to ruin our picture. She wanted his D and had real immature ways of showing it. But back to the pic. It's super old (before we were even together) but I love it and I think it proves my point. Ok. Done.


Hope ya’ll are havin a great weekend.

Does Drinking at 2:00 PM Qualify Me as a Prime Candidate for AA?

I mean cut me some slack. It is Friday after all.

However, I still feel I need excuses to explain away such behavior. It seems the trajectory of my life right now is propelling me forward into depression, alcoholism and suicidal tendencies. (JK on the suicide thing but I was trying to make a point.)

You see, I had an epiphany today. Life sucks huge balls right now. Big, fat, hairy balls. (Anyone that’s checked my 20SB page today may have noticed I’ve had a bit of a preoccupation with testicles lately so don’t mind me. Just another indication that I’m losing it and need aforementioned drink.) But it doesn’t just suck for me. It sucks for just about everyone I know (and yea, all those other people I don’t.)

So it’s whatevs at this point. I’ve done what I can do and now there’s nothing left but to get good and drunk. Oh and hope things sort themselves out and all that jazz.

But this will not be a solemn, anxiety-ridden post. Nu-uh. I forbid it.

So on to something completely off topic. You remember that Spawn of Satan in the form of a dog that I referred to yesterday? Yea, the annoying, rebellious demon child, Asia? Well she lives up to her reputation yet again.

This morning I awoke to the terrifying news that my boyfriend had suffered a wound that may or may not have left him without his left eye. (Yes. I know. Horrific.)

It seems as if our demonically possessed dog felt the need to kick the Boo as hard as canine-ly possible in the eye and subsequently every 3 inch radius around it. He rushed into the bedroom, hand and tissue clutched to eye, saying “Babe, I’ve been injured.”

Turns out he got lucky and only got a few cuts on the bridge of his nose and eyelid area but they are all the way down to the exact perimeter of the eyeball!! The ball, people!! I could have been dating a one-eyed bandit because of this deranged creature he calls a pet. (Not that there’s anything wrong with people with one eye but, ya know.)

Needless to say this only drove a wider gap between his canine friend and I. He willingly forgave her just 5 minutes after. I, on the other hand, am now searching furiously for instructions on how to perform an excorism.

Because after today I am thoroughly convinced. This dog is the antichrist.

Yea, I'm a Thief

I stole this idea from the oh so witty Tia over at Clever Girl Goes Blog (love her!).

(That plus I needed an easy post for this NaBloPoMo crap. Is it almost over?)

So I'm declaring today Delurking Day!!

Any of you out there that read my blog and haven't commented yet should do so today. (I highly doubt there are any of you even out there but I'm hoping someone saves my fragile ego and proves me wrong. But again, I'm cynical.)

And if you've already commented before I'd still like to hear from you. Know that you're still out there and not sick of me and my shenanigans. Yet.

Because really, I do appreciate all of you who take precious time out of your day to read whatever ridiculous and insignificant things I have to say. Really. It means the world to me and you will never know just how much.

So delurk, or continue in your delurking, and leave me some love.

Because you know I really do luv you all. (And that's with a "u" cause well, let's be honest. I don't know you that well.)

Jokes :]

This Post Just Exascerbated My Annoyance...Times Twelve

I’ve come to realize over the course of, well, my life, that I may be a bit starved in the patience department. I can become annoyed over anything. And I do mean ANYTHING.

(Ugh. That alone kind of annoys me. I annoy me.)

The dogs’ constant, incessant licking of the carpet/pillows/couch/comforter drives me up a wall!!! Enough already. Asia just does it to piss me off, I’m convinced. But Chloe always gives me these big puppy dog eyes (yea, could she be any more stereotypical?) and it makes me feel like a bitch for snapping at her. But I can’t help it. The sound is annoying. The feel of wet carpet/couch/blanket is annoying. I have to be mean mommy every now and then.

Being put on hold. (Or no one bothering to ever answer the phone in the first place.) Hello?? You are a f*cking company!! Shouldn’t your motto be “the customer is always right” and all that shit? Shouldn’t you actually answer your phone once in awhile? Or at least have a voicemail I can yell, degrade and scream obscenities into? (It’s annoying me just thinking about it. Big surprise.)

Ignorance. I think this can be an umbrella clause for which I can place many other annoyances under including, but by no means limited to, people who can’t drive, people who can’t speak proper English in a job that requires them to do so, inefficiency in any aspect, the list goes on.

People who breathe loudly through their nose. I don’t know how to explain it but if you’ve heard it then you know. You KNOW. It’s plagued me since childhood and I don’t think it’s anything I’ll ever be able to compromise on.

People who use any of these words. (And I’ve thought of others, no doubt, since I posted the initial list including “scrumptious” and the phrase “the proof is in the pudding.” Ugh. Is that not the grossest, most irritating term EVER??)

Stupid fights over what to have for dinner. Seriously. If every other relationship doesn’t face this problem on a semi-weekly basis then I’ll be astounded. But seriously, does it really require a 25 minute back and forth indecisive debate just to decide on what to eat?? Really?? I think not. (I should note here that it has been awhile since the Boo and I have had one of these. Which in all likelihood simply means we’re due for one any day now. I’ll probably be blogging about it tomorrow.)

So as you can see there’s not much that doesn’t annoy me these days. I know part of it is because that’s just how I’ve always been (blame my Pops’s genes for that) but it’s also partly because I’m a girl and I'm stressed.

Or maybe I just need to get laid.

Where’s the Boo?

In Memory

Today is my Uncle's 61st birthday. And amidst all the funny cards and well wishes I can't help but feel sad. Devastated is actually more like it. Because I know that's how he's feeling.

Not because he's one year older. But because this is his first birthday without his son. My cousin. One of the greatest people I have ever been blessed to know.

This time of year actually reminds me of him more than anything else. Part of the reason Fall is (and has always been) my favorite season is because it reminds me of better times. Not just the weather, good food and great football. But the amazing company that came from family get togethers. Trips to our Aunt and Uncle's log cabin, visits to our grandmother, all of us around a table enjoying Thanksgiving together, throwing the football around and laughing carelessly. Happy in that moment. Recklessly not realizing how much it would come to mean. One day. And one day in the unnervingly near future.

My cousin passed away on March 24, 2008. The morning after Easter Sunday. He was 27.

His death shocked (and still shocks) our entire family as each passing day confirmed the absence of his continued presence with us.

Below is something I wrote in the ensuing days after his death. I still can't read it without crying. I loved him. I miss him. And days like these only prove a painful reminder of the life we've lost. His.

..................

He wasn’t just a cousin. He was the big brother I never had. When I was younger I always reveled in the fact that I was the oldest but part of my heart ached because there was something I knew I could never have by attaining that cherished title…an older brother. Someone to watch over me, protect me, give me advice and comfort me in a way only an older brother could do. Yet, it seemed fate had eluded me and I was destined to live devoid of that so desired presence in my life. That is, until I met my cousin, Gary.

He was everything I had hoped for in an older brother and yet so much more. Caring and compassionate, funny and articulate, wise beyond my years yet relatable in every aspect. He was what I had always hoped for. I remember one of my earliest memories with Gary was in Birmingham at our Grandmother’s house. The whole family had gathered together for some special occasion, which at this point is unbeknownst to me. And in retrospect, it’s clear why I don’t remember what we were even there for, it’s because all I remember was spending time with my cousin…my big brother.

My sister, Brittany and I, spent hours on end in the backyard with Gary, attempting to construct what would be our architectural masterpiece. In our minds it was going to be an amazing three bedroom, two bathroom cabin with stained glass windows and a fireplace, yet in reality, it never matured farther than a few metal poles and some broken glass from the neighbor’s windows. Over and over, we were implored to come inside and spend time with the rest of the family but all I remember is not wanting to leave my cousin’s side. I had faith that my dreams of perfection in the form of "backyard fort" blueprints would all be executed and eventually personified with the help of the only other two people who could appreciate and acknowledge my vision, my sister and my cousin…my big brother.

Eventually we were forced to come inside and the fort/architectural phenomena was forced to cease in existence. Yet I’ll never forget that time I spent with him. As juvenile as it may seem, that one instance instilled in me all I needed to know about my big brother. I knew that he would always watch over me (as he so lovingly made sure I didn’t pick up any of the broken shards of glass to compose our "stained glass windows") and he would always make me feel important (by giving me specific tasks in the construction of our fort which made me feel indispensible to the project). From that day forward I loved him with all my heart.

Growing up, I regarded him as my own big brother and I think part of me resented the fact that he couldn’t actually be that. I was so proud of him that it wasn’t uncommon for me to take pictures of him to school to show all my friends what a handsome "big brother" I had. I would regale them with tales of our adventures and his subsequent success, beaming with every accomplishment I informed them of knowing that only my big brother could have done such amazing things and done them so beautifully. And growing up, he was my role model. But then again, who wouldn’t have wanted to emulate him? Masterful articulator, quick-witted and sarcastic, opinionated and driven, passionate and ambitious, encompassing all areas of the modern day Renaissance man - that was my cousin…my big brother.

Years passed and time changed us but my heart never swayed. I knew that the bond Gary and I shared was forever solidified and could never be broken regardless of the frequency of visits. He was always with me in my heart and in my mind and no amount of time or distance could ever shake that. Now as I sit here writing this it’s still surreal. I feel as if he’s just left on a trip and he’ll be back in time for the next family get together. That a few months from now we’ll all be sitting around eating dinner talking politics where he will undoubtedly take the opposing side (not necessarily because he’s a proponent of the candidate but simply for the sake of argument) and he’ll continue to argue for hours on end to the point that you want to pull your hair out and give up. But then at the last minute, he’ll flash that charming half grin smile that seems to light up the entire room and win everyone back over.

But it pains me to think that that will never happen, evidenced entirely by the fact that I’m forced to right this memoir in the past tense. I wish I could bring him back. I wish these words had the power to resurrect your baby boy…my big brother…breathe life back in to him and enable him to be among us for just one more day. Unfortunately that isn’t a possibility. Yet, I know that his memory will live on for years and years to come - likely after we’re all gone and with him in heaven. His life was so much more than our minds can even comprehend and his actions and very presence touched countless lives and hearts that we will never come to know. But I find comfort in knowing that I will never be without him. Although he may have been ripped away from this world all too soon, he will never and can never be forgotten. He will forever be the person I aspire to emulate. The person I seek to impress. The person I hold dearest to my heart. My cousin, my blood, my big brother.

You’ll always be in my "Top Eight". I love you.